


Hatchet

by WileyFox



Category: Black Lagoon, Hatchet
Genre: Blood and Gore, Brutality, Explicit Language, F/M, Graphic Violence, Mutilation, Public Nudity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:08:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23393794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WileyFox/pseuds/WileyFox
Summary: Three friends go on a haunted swamp tour with several other future victims, when they get stuck in the swamp they're forced to fight back against a deformed maniac with a hatchet, on the way they run into the Lagoon Company (Custom Members, explained in notes of Chapter 2) Rebecca "Revy" Lee (The Gunslinger), Ken Alberona (The weapons expert and torturer), Randy Hughes (The Hand to Hand expert), and Alice Belle (The Driver and Translator). Ken going on the tour while the others stay behind to drink, how will this group fare against Victor Crowley? Will Ken make a big difference?I suck at summaries, it's Hatchet 1 with new characters, it's a slasher with tits, lots of blood, badasses fighting a psycho killer, stupid blonde bimbos, and lots of poor innocent people getting brutally murdered, isn't that all that matters in a slasher movie turned fanfiction?
Relationships: Ken Alberona/Shenhua





	1. Mardi Gras

Ray walked with Marcus and Ben, it was Mardi Gras and they were having fun, well, Ray and Marcus anyways, Ben was still sulking over his ex-girlfriend, Ray offered to give him a blunt, but he refused it, Ray was dancing in the crowd, Marcus laughing, his Mardi Gras beads around his neck, Ray wearing his red and black seat, a huge smile on his face, two of their friends behind them, one holding a cup of beer. They pushed past the crowd, large smiles on each of their faces, the group of friends pushing past the crowd. 

Eventually, they made it past the crowd and were walking on a sidewalk, Marcus next to Ben, Ray on the other side of him, joint in hand as he was lighting it, 

“Come on man!” Marcus exclaimed. “This is Mardi Gras! Cheer up, man! This is fun!”

“Yeah, I’m having a blast,” Ben said unenthusiastically. 

Though they paused when Marcus saw something. “Oh-oh! Right here!” He said as he looked up at a balcony to see a topless girl smoking a cigarette. She smiled and waved at them, blowing a kiss.

“You think she’d buy some weed?” Ray asked as he looked over at Friend #1.

Ray is a tan man of average height, standing at 5.8, he has wavy black hair that is slicked up, he has green eyes he wears a tan leather jacket with a white shirt underneath, he wears blue jeans with a tear above his right knee and he wears white shoes, he has an already rolled blunt tucked on his ear. He has a rather muscular physique.

“No.” He said as he took another sip of his beer.

“There’s something new right?” Ben asked as he looked over at Marcus. “Haven’t you seen enough boobs?” Ben asked, making everyone look over at him.

“Wait, so you mean there’s a such thing as too much boobs?” Ray asked as he took a puff of his blunt.

“Yes, Ray!” Ben snapped. “I’m just not feeling this.” Ben sighed. “I should’ve just stayed at home.”

“Why, so you can sit there and sulk about Heather?” Ray asked. “Dude, trust me, come to a Fraternity party with me, I can get you a girl.” 

“I don’t just want another girl!” Ben said as he looked over at Ray.

“Just Heather?” Friend #2 asks.

“Christine.” Ben corrected him.

“C’mon man, we came here to have a good time. You? You're fighting it, there’s fun all around you. Stop standing there like a bitch!” Marcus explained as he nodded his head around at what was going on around them.

“Dude, Mardi Graz beats Frat parties,” Ray said, pointing his blunt at Ben.

“How is this fun?” Ben asked. “This place is disgusting, our hotel room smells sweaty balls man! Everyone’s just drunk and looking for a fight.” Ben says before pointing at friend #1. “You! You threw up six times yesterday! How do you even do that?” Ben then looked at Ray, “Dude, you were so high this morning that you were hugging onto the wall begging us to help you get home when we were at the store! And here you are smoking another blunt.”

Ray pulled his blunt out of his mouth and stared at it. “Oh… Oh, oh shit.” He said as he blew out smoke. “Dude, you're right!” He said as he looked at Ben before taking another puff. “Last puff.” He choked out.

“Like I haven’t heard that before,” Ben sighed before looking back at Marcus. “Look, you guys just have fun, alright? I’ll just find something else to do.”

“What? By yourself?” Marcus asked as he watched his friend.

“Dewitt Robinson told me about this swamp tour thing that they did last year, they said that it was amazing. You see all this floating light stuff on the water,” As he said this everyone began laughing. 

“You wanna leave all this, to look at some lights in a swamp?” Marcus asked.

“You don’t have to come with me Marcus,” Ben said as he looked over at his friend. “Look, I’ll see you guys back at the hotel.” He said as he turned and began walking off.

Ray put his blunt out and tucked it back on his ear, he took a step forward only for his shoulder to be grabbed by friend #2. 

“C’mon Ray, you're the life of the party, you can’t leave.”

“We solidified our bond bro,” Ray said as he looked at him.

“What?”

“We solidified our bond with a hug bro. So, I’m going too.” Ray said as he turned and began walking after Ben.

“Damn!” Marcus groaned as he saw Ray catching up with Ben, He glanced at the party behind him, contemplating his decision before finally sighing and jogging over.

“Ben wait up, wait up, wait up,” Marcus said as he caught up, Ray now with them, patting Ben’s shoulder.

“Ray? Marcus?” Ben asked as the two now walked on either side of them, “No, no, go back and enjoy yourself,”

“No man, no. We’re going with you, it’s cool.” Marcus sighed.

“I’m gonna need to be high for this bro.” Ray sighed as he shook his head.

“You already are high,” Marcus said as he looked over at Ray. 

“Exactly.”

“Thanks, guys.” Ben sighed. “But you guys are gonna be so psyched you did this!”

“I think I’d rather skin my own dick,” Marcus said looking at Ben.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t go that far, I’d rather sit in a room full of raccoons.” Ray said as he watched the two.

It didn’t take the trio very long to reach Reverend Zombies house of voodoo.

“Great, no more chicks.” Marcus sighed as they got to the door, though he smiled when they reached the door. “They’re closed.”

Ray leaned against the wall next to the door, resting his head against it.

“No, they can’t be closed,” Ben said in disbelief.

“They’re closed, bro.” Ray said as he glanced over at Ben, “We can always go back to the hoes, have some fun.”

“The big closed sign,” Marcus said as he pointed at it.

Ben, ignoring them knocked anways,

“Aaaannd he’s knocking,” Ray said as he pulled the half-smoked blunt from his ear.

“This is gonna suck,” Marcus said as Ray lit his blunt and put it to his lips, taking a big huff he held the smoke in. Through he choked it right back out as the door was slammed open, Ray jumped away from the wall, his eyes wide as he watched the man who slammed the door open in the first place.

“What do you want?” The man asked, 

“First of all, for you to not jumpscare us,” Ray said as he put the blunt back into his mouth. 

“We wanted to do a haunted swamp tour,” Ben said as he watched him.

“I don’t do haunted swamp tours anymore. I’m not allowed to.” 

“It’s just our friends said that you that you did one here last year,” Ben said as he watched him.

“I can’t do night tours anymore.” The man repeated.

“See, you heard him,” Ray said as he took the blunt from his mouth and blew the smoke to the side. “He doesn’t do them anymore.”

“Insurance got too high.”

“Like Ray.” Marcus joked.

“After what happened.” He said as he looked at Ray and Marcus. 

“Too bad,” Marcus said as he pursed his lips and pointed his thumb behind himself and turned to walk away, Ray going to follow, though Ben spoke, stopping them. 

“Whoa whoa whoa, wait, what happened?” Ben asked, making Ray sighed.

“Oh, you don’t want to know.” He said, making Ray take another puff and raise his brows.

“Now I do,” Ray said as he turned back to the man. 

“I had a tour group, up in the swamp.” He began. “Last Halloween. It was the mist of night,”

“And?” Ray asked.

“And there was this kid.” The man said as he put his hand in Marcus’s face, “He was scrawny, like you.” As he said this Marcus looked him up and down, raising his brows at him. “He got spooked by something in the marsh, he saw two eyes, staring at him from the swamp, chilled him to the very marrow, he wanted to get off the boat in a hurry and he had his foot dangling over the edge, he-”

“He fell in?” Ben asked, cutting him off.

“Gaters got him?” Marcus asked.

“He broke his ankle?” Ray asked.

“What happened?” Marcus asked. 

“He slipped, hit his head right on the roof.” The man began. “And sued me for negligence! That cocksucker!” The man yelled.

“What?” Ray asked as he squinted at the man. “That’s it!? How anticlimactic!” Ray complained.

“Try Marie Laveau,” The man said as he mystically waved his hand up and down. 

“Excuse me?” Marcus asked.

“Two blocks east, on olive street. But you didn’t hear it from me.” The man said as he took a step back.

“Okay man,” Ray said as he took another puff, 

“I have to go tend to my birds.” The man said as he walked inside, leaving Marcus, Ray, and Ben, 

“Be careful walking on the sidewalk!” He yelled as he slammed the door back open, making Ray and Marcus take a step back, the man slammed the door closed leaving all three confused.

“I’m too straight for this shit bro,” Ray said as he took another puff, walking with Ben and Marcus, though Marcus stopped, stopping Ben. 

“It’s dead as hell down there,” Marcus said, pointing at the street ahead. “Fun party,” Marcus said pointing behind them, he then nodded ahead of them. “Bad badness.” 

Ben pursed his lips and went to walk again, only to get his arm grabbed by Marcus. “Wait, Ben! Come on! This is so lame! How is this going to help you get over her?”

“Marcus, this whole scene back there, it’s just, every hot half-naked girl reminds me of Christine, ya know?” Ben sighed and looked forward. “She’s probably getting banged by that Bulkowski guy in her living room, on the loveseat that my mom gave her! What happened to dating a normal guy? That guy got a neck the size of a truck! And that whole cauliflower thing on his ear is just weird!”

“Ben,” Ray said, cutting his friend off. “That’s gross, I don’t want to hear about your women problems,” Ray said as he watched him. 

“Come on guys, this is gonna be fun,” Ben said as he placed his hand on Marcus’s shoulder. 

Marcus sighed as he glared at Ben, finally, he looked down and grabbed onto his Mardi Graz beads. “There’ll be no chicks there, so I don’t need these.” He said as he took them off and dropped them onto the ground, Ray doing the same.

“It’ll be fun!” Ben sang.

“About as fun as crabs.” Marcus sighed.

“But you'd know all about that don’t you?” Ray teased as he put his blunt out and tucked it back into his ear.

“Screw that waitress from fezziweight.” Marcus said as he pointed at Ben.

“You did.” Ben pointed out.

“I didn’t know she had bugs in her bush!” Marcus exclaimed.

“Dude, how didn’t you know? She was itching all freakin' night, not even one or two scratches, one or two scratches to her snatch would be fine, but all night? Bro.” Ray said.

“She said it was a reaction to her fabric freshener.” Marcus defended. “Okay? Alright? I saw it, I asked.”

“And you fucking bought that?” Ray laughed as he looked at Marcus. 

“And look at you Mr. Bigshot,” Marcus said as he looked at Ray. “When was the last time you got laid?”

“Trish, from Delta Phi, last week.” Ray said as he looked at Marcus.

“Cheerleader Trish?” Ben asked.

“Cheerleader Trish,” Ray smirked. “And Marcus.” Ray patted his friend's shoulder. “She is flexible.”

As they got to the shop they saw a girl rubbing her vomiting friends back, Ray’s right brow raised as they walked by, “Ladies.” Marcus smirked as they stepped into the shop.


	2. Boarding the Bus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revy is in this chapter (And this chapter only, she takes on a more active role in the Hatchet 2 story) but the other members of the Lagoon Campany aren't, now hear me out, I know how to use Revy, how to stay in her character more than the others, I don't really know how to use Dutch, Benny, and Rock effectively and I think it'll be a harder backhand if I completely botch their personality rather than take them out completely, so instead in this universe the members of Lagoon Company are Revy, Alice, Ken, Randy, and Cole (He is mentioned but appears in the Hatchet 2 story) Okay? Okay, I thought I should mention this so people don't get on my ass, asking where Dutch, Benny and Rock are. Again, they are absent because I don't feel comfortable adding them when they'd be so out of character, so, I'm making a custom Lagoon Company, I hope you guys don't mind, and I hope you guys like the new guys. Again, sorry Rock, Dutch, and Benny aren't going to be in this.
> 
> I think I can do a decent Shenhua, but I'm not sure, so, for now, she's just going to be a cameo, so tell me if I do a good job with her very brief appearance.
> 
> Thank you for understanding and please enjoy the story.

Ken stood next to Revy, his arms crossed as they waited patiently, Randy was looking around the store, 

Ken stands at 5.11, he has dirty blonde hair that is short, at the hairline the hair is slicked up with a lock at the far right side is down, he has deep blue eyes and he wears a long maroon jacket that goes to his mid calves, it has decorative black buttons going up it and black fur as the collar, under this he was a black button-up shirt, which he wears a maroon vest over, under this he wears a pair of grey jeans and black boots.

“Ugh! How fucking long are we going to have to wait!?” Revy yelled as she ran a hand through her hair.

“I dunno.” Ken shrugged. “But I’m bored as shit and I want to see what’s in the swamp.”

“Yeah? What’s so fucking interesting about a damn swamp?” Revy asked as she crossed her arms, a smirk forming on her face,

“Dark and gloomy, it’ll be fun,” Ken shrugged. “Plus, I heard of this Victor Crowley guy.”

“Oh?” Revy smirked, 

“He’s this local legend.” Alice said as she walked over, a smirk on her face, “If he’s real and if we prove it by bringing his head, that’ll bring a pretty penny.”

Alice is a relatively short and tan woman standing at 5.0, she sports an arrogant smirk, her blue eyes full of mischief and life, her hair upper back length and bushy brown hair unkempt, she wears a white tube top with the straps of her black bra visible and over her shoulders, her back completely exposed, it has a black spade on the front of it, she wears black leather pants under this with upper leg length black leather heels.

“A hell of a lot more than that crappy twenty grand.” Revy said with a huge smirk, “Why not just take our own boat and search that fucking swamp?” 

“Eh, I kinda just want to go on that tour, laugh at it.” Ken shrugged.

“Alright,” Revy shrugged. “Just know, when you get back I might just want to dress you up in a nice pink little dress, make you dance.” Revy said with a smirk.

“Yeah?” Ken smirked as he took a step towards Revy. “Just try it Revy.”

Revy smirked as she got in his face, Ken giving his own smirk. 

Alice watched on with a smirk as she glanced over to an approaching Randy.

“What are they bitching about?” Randy asked.

Randy is a tall man, standing at 6.5, he has a lean and slightly mucscular body type, he has short black hair and brown eyes, he wears a black jacket that is topped over a dark grey shirt, under these he wears a pair of grey jeans and black and red jordans.

“Not really bitching.” Alice shrugged as she glanced over at the extremely tall man.

Ken and Revy’s smirking faces were inches apart as Ray, Marcus, and Ben entered the shop.

“Oooooooh!” Marcus said as he patted both of his friend’s chests and pointed at Ken and Revy, “You think they’ll kiss?” 

“Uhhh,” Ray said as he glanced over at Marcus, “Maybe, we are in New Orleans on Mardi Gras.” He shrugged.

Ken and Revy’s staredown was cut short by Ken’s phone ringing, Revy and him both glanced down as he pulled his phone out, flipping it open he saw Shenhua’s name, 

“Oh, Chinglish is calling you again?” Revy smirked. “Are you two fucking or something? Or is it some lovey-dovey bullshit?” Revy asked.

‘Not sure yet.” Ken shrugged as he answered and walked off.

“Where are you?” Shenhua asked. “I call you five time, you no pick up,” Shenhua said as Ken chuckled.

“I’m on vacation Shen.” Ken said as he leaned against a table.

“You on vacation? Where?” Shenhua asked.

“New Orleans.” Ken answered with a small laugh, “I heard this is a vicious place, that was a big lie, this place is like Narnia.” 

“Oooh, no fun, that no fun.” Shenhua said as she giggled. “Only fun in murder, job only fun when it include murder.”

“Hah! I can’t disagree there.” Ken laughed. “I didn’t get to play with any of my fun toys.” He said as he spotted Alice walking out of the shop with her phone to her ear.

“If you're so bored, why not go on a job?” Ken asked. “You have a crew right?”

“You in luck, I on job in New York, Mr Chang wanted big-time politician dead, I skinned his ass..” Shenhua said before thinking of something. “That sword I give you, do you still have it? Or you leave it on boat?” Shenhua asked.

“I always keep it on me, it’s always nearby,” Ken said with a smirk.

“I leave now, have fun on your break, I be there by tonight.” Shenhua said.

“What? No “I love you dear Ken” I am wounded.” Ken said dramatically as he placed his hand over his chest.

“Oh, you sentimental ass.” Shenhua laughed.

“C’mon, you know you love me.”

“Don’t embarrass me, Kenny. You get fun time tonight. That all, I no say I love you.” Shenhua said.

“Oh come on, you know you love me..” Ken smirked. When Shenhua didn’t answer Ken spoke again. “Oh yeah, we’re staying at the Le Richelieu Hotel, I’m staying in room 305,” Ken said.

“Okay,” Shenhua said. “Where is it?”

“The French Quarter, ask the locals, you can’t miss it,” Ken answered. 

“Okay, I see you then.”

“Oh! I’m going on a Haunted Swamp Tour,”

“That sound so boring.” Shenhua said.

“Funny thing is, Revy basically said the same thing.

“The slut is right, it sound dull and boring.” Shenhua laughed.

“Can you get along with Revy if I’m not back in time to meet you?”

“I will try, I make no promises,” Shenhua said as she laughed. “The slut fuck with me, I carve out piece of her ass.” Shenhua playfully threatened.

“Okay, you two will get along great! You usually do when we’re allies.”

Shenhua shrugged and spoke again. “I see you tonight Ken, have fun on boring tour.” Shenhua said as she hung up.

“Yeah,” Ken chuckles as he turns to see Misty and Jenna pulling their shirts down, shoving his phone in his pocket he smirked. “Gotta love Mardi Gras.” Ken chuckled as he heard Revy.

“Don’t let Chinglish hear you say that she’ll chop it the fuck off and feed the damn thing to you,” Revy smirked as she walked over and nudged him.

“Oh, I know that all too well,” Ken said as he glanced over at her, crossing her arms, both looked over as Alice returned, walking over to them.

“Who was it?” Revy asked as she watched her.

“That was Eda from the Ripoff Church, she told me to tell you she has that cargo you wanted.”

“Fuck yeah!” Revy yelled with a laugh. “That’s gonna be so fucking awesome! Blowing shit the fuck up!” Revy said as she pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her pocket, taking two out she placed it between her lips and lit it, shoving her cigarette pack and lighter back in her pocket she placed her fingers inbetween the cigarette and took a huge puff before pulling it out and blowing the smoke out.

Ken smirked and placed his hand out, Revy smirked and flicked a cigarette into his hand. Ken lifted the cigarette and placed the tip against hers as she held out her cigarette, using the smoldering tip of hers to light his, both placed their cigarette into their mouth and took a puff.

All three looked over as a man came through the curtain, a huge smile on his face.

“Who’s a ready to do some haunting?” Shawn asked with a smile. “The night will soon be upon us!” He said, waving his cape over his chest. “The spirits of the damned are on the rise!”

“Guy looks like a fucking dumbass wearing those damn clothes.” Revy joked all she heard was “Blah blah blah.”.

“Oh yeah,he looks like such a dumbass loser.” Ken chuckled.

“You sure you still want to go on?” Revy asked.

Shawn approached Ray, Marcus, and Ben with a smile. “What can I do you three for?”

“We heard you do the haunted swamp tour.” Ben said as he watched him.

Shawn smiled as he took off his hat and smacked Ben with it. “Why I do the only haunted swamp tour!” He exclaimed as Ray and Marcus both gave confused expressions, both of their arms crossed. “Ghosts, oooooh, tales of the mokab, and actual sights that are still of voodoo curses.”

“I’m really going to need a lot more weed for this.” Ray sighed.

“I hate you,” Marcus said as he looked over at Ben. As he looked over Shawn reached behind his ear, pulling out a nickel, a smile on his face.

“How much is this?” Ray asked as he watched Shawn. 

“Forty bones,” Shawn smirked. 

“Forty dollars?” Ben asked as he pulled out his wallet.

“Can you spot us?” Marcus asked.

“Why? You don’t have any cash?”

“No, we’re just not paying for this bullshit.” 

Ben sighed as he pulled six twenties out, handing it to Shawn.

“Screw it.” Ken sighed, “Randy!” Ken called out as his friend glanced over. “Mere,” Ken said as he waved him over, as Randy approached Ken smirked. “You wanna go on a ghost tour with me?” Ken asked.

“With that freakshow?” Randy asked as he nodded to Shawn. “No.” 

“Ahhh, c’mon.” Ken laughed, “Be a good friend.” 

“I am, just not that good of a friend,” Randy said as he patted his shoulder.

“We’re going to a bar,” Revy said as she pointed at the door with her thumb. 

“The bars are nothing like it is in Roanapur.” Ken pointed out.

“It doesn’t matter,” Alice shrugged. “Alcohol is alcohol, plus, Cole is already in a bar” 

“Here, I’ll do ya a favor.” Revy said as she pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her back pocket, “I have an extra pack,” She said, putting the pack in his hand. “Here’s a lighter to go with it.” She said, taking a silver lighter out and placing it in his hand. “Enjoy the tour with the freakshow,” Revy said as the three turned towards the door, as they left Ken sighed.

“You guys are shitty friends,” Ken said before turning as Shawn called out to him.

“Hey! Last call, are you coming onto the ghost tour?”

“Yeah yeah,” Ken sighed as he walked over to the man, “How much?”

“40 bucks a pop,” Shawn smirked as he placed his hand out.

Ken shrugged. “That might as well be a penny,” Ken said as he pulled two twenties from his pocket and handed it to the man.

Shawn smiled, he went to reach behind Ken’s ear to do the same trick he did on Marcus, but his wrist was caught, he winced.

“Touch me again, and I’ll cut this arm off,” Ken said as he shoved Shawn’s arm down, taking the cigarette from his mouth he blew out the smoke to the side and walked out the door.

"Dick." Shawn said under his breath.  
________________________

-The Bus-

“Hello,” Jim said as Misty stepped on the bus, “Hello.” He greeted as Doug got on, when Ken got on he smiled. “How are ya?”

Ken paused and looked at Jim, “Hey there old man.” Ken said as he took the cigarette from his mouth. 

Jim and Sharron smiled as they watched him, especially Sharron.

Ken gave a thumbs up before going to the back of the bus, to his seat which was the seat opposite of Marybeth and Ben’s, leaning back he put his feet up, closing his eyes, puffing smoke out while the cigarette was still in his mouth. Though his eyes opened and he glanced over as he heard Ben speak.

“So, uhhh, I guess I sit here.” He said as he looked down at Marybeth who looked over at him, giving a smile, though Ray who was behind him smacked him in the back of the head, causing Ben to glare back at him, but sit down, Ray taking a seat next to Ken who simply glanced at him and reclosed his eyes.

“Ray,” Ray said as he looked over at Ken who opened his eyes, taking the cigarette out and glanced at him.

“I’m Ken,” Ken said as he put the cigarette out on the metal wall next to him, blowing out the smoke he tossed the cigarette butt out of the window.

As Shawn drove and it began getting dark Ken glanced out the window, squinting. “Hey, how fucking long are we going to be driving?” Ken asked as Ben looked over at him.

“I don’t know.” Ben shrugged. “Why?”

“Because my sexy Taiwanese girlfriend is going to be in New Orleans in a few hours,” Ken said as he looked over at Ben.

“Lucky bastard.” Ray laughed as he patted Ken’s shoulder, Marcus too preoccupied with talking to Jenna to care.

“It’s a gift and a curse, I fuck up bad enough, and she’ll skin me alive.” Ken half-joked, making Ben and Ray laugh.

“No seriously, she will skin me.”

“So, Ben here could use some relationship advice.” Ray began, making Ben glare at him.

“Hmm?” Ken leaned forward to look at Ben. “Really now?” He chuckled. “I don’t know if I’m the right person because my relationship is far from normal.” Ken shrugged.

“It’s okay, I don't need help." Ben said as he watched Ken.

“Are you sure?” Ken asked as he watched Ben.

“Yeah,” Ben nodded.

“Cause I’ll try.” Ken shrugged. “Seriously, I’m bored enough.”

“No, really, it’s okay.” Ben nodded with a smile.

“Okay folks! I am your tour guide Shawn,” Shawn spoke into the microphone. “Just sit back and get comfortable-” Shawn was cut off by Ken.

“How long will this tour be?” Ken asked. “My girlfriend Shenhua will be in New Orleans soon.”

“Oh, just another few hours,” Shawn said,

“Well shit.” Ken laughed. “I should probably call Revy.” He said, pulling his phone from his pocket.

“You don’t need that thing.” Marcus pointed out. “This thing is the size of a mini cooper, making everyone laugh, including Ken who gave a chuckle. “Like a little mini cooper limo.” 

“Hey Ken, how’s that shitty fucking tour going?” Revy asked.

“Good.” Ken lied. “Anyway, I called you to ask if you can do something for me,” Ken said.

“That depends, what is it?” Revy asked as she took a sip of her whiskey.

“I need you to hang out with Shenhua if she gets there before I get back.”

“Hang out with Chinglish?” Revy asked. “Sure, why not.” Revy shrugged. “Where should I meet her?”

“Outside my door,” Ken answered. 

“Alright, when is Chinglish coming?”

“She said tonight, so probably in a few hours at most.”

“Alright,” Revy said with a shrug. “See you later Ken,” She said, hanging up.

“Okay everyone,” Shawn began, “If you take a look out your right side, you'll see the legendary St Louis cemetery, number one, founded in,” Shawn paused and looked at a card. “1789 this is the resting place of the first black man in New Orleans earnest,” Shawn explained with a pause,

Ken looked out the window, his brows raised as he watched the cemetery, wondering how much they’d make if they grave rob the place, something he and Revy do when they’re exploring a place full of corpses.

“It is also believed to be the pearl side of the infamous voodoo queen Marie Laveau.” 

Ken smirked as he heard this, “Interesting.” Ken chuckled as he took his feet down.

“Y’all notice how we bury our dead above ground? Well, that’s because all the voodoo curses in the air down here they have the tendency to rise up out of the dirt.” Shawn explained as he raised his hand up and put it back on the wheel. “So we like to keep them cemented in, just in case.”

“Bullshit.” Ken said making Shawn look at him from the mirror, the pirate taking out a cigarette, “They’re buried above ground because if they’re buried in the dirt their rotting asses will be brought back up by the high water levels.” Ken explained. “Believe me, I know.”

“No, that’s not why.” Shawn shook his head.

“That young man is right,” Sharron said. “We heard-”

Shawn took the microphone and put it to his lips. “I SAID NO!” He said before slamming it back down.

“Oho,” Ken chuckled. “What do you know, he does have a temper. I bet Revy would have liked to see that, Nah, more like Cole.”

It didn’t take much longer for them to pull up in a part of a swamp by a dock where a boat was anchored, As the doors opened Ken stepped out last, tossing his cigarette butt to the dirt, he glanced around, Ray stopping next to him. 

“Everyone on board.” Shawn said as he approached the boat, “Scare bus, then scare boat.” He smiled as he rushed to the boat, Sharron fixing Jim’s hat, Ray walking with Ben and Marcus, Ken lagging behind Marybeth who paused.

“You don’t look like you're enjoying yourself.” She pointed out.

“Wow, you do speak.” Ken laughed. “I just didn’t expect it to be this long, I hope Revy and Shenhua don’t rip each other apart before I get there.”

“Revy and Shenhua?” Marybeth asked as they boarded the boat. 

“Revy, my best friend, and Shenhua, my girlfriend,” Ken confirmed as Shawn turned on the lights.

“Dude,” Ben said, pointing at the boat. “That’s the boat?”

“Yep, looks like it.” Ray said as he stared at it, “That piece of shit looks like it’ll sink any second.”

As they boarded Ken took a seat in front of Ben, Marcus, Ray, Jenna, and Marybeth, he leaned back and rested the back of his head on his hands.

“HEY!” Came a booming voice making everyone look over, seeing a man on a small boat. “You there! Hello!” He waved with both of his arms.

“Mr. Shawn, I think that man is trying to talk to you.” Sharron pointed out, making Shawn look over.

“Oh, no, no, no,” Shawn said as he watched the man.

“Where do you think you're going!? 

“That guy?” Shawn asked. “Don’t mind him, that’s just Jack Cracker, 

“Jack Cracker?” Jenna asked.

“Sounds like a freak who belongs at a circus,” Ken commented making everyone chuckle. 

“Yeah, yeah one of the local alligator hunters, just sit there, yells at people, drinks his own piss,” Shawn explained. “He’s uh, you know, cracked.”

“Drinks his own piss/” Ken asked as he scrunched up his nose. “That’s really a thing?” 

“Sadly, yes.” Marybeth sighed.

“Come on,” Shawn said as he tried to start the boat, 

“This swamp is closed!” Jack yelled.

Ken smirked, hearing Jack, “Sounds like fun.” 

“This swamp is haunted! Victor Crowley!” Jack yelled.

“What’s he yelling?” Ben asked as Shawn finally started the boat.

“Okay, okay, okay, here we go,” Shawn said frantically. “Everyone wave goodbye to Jack,” Shawn said, everyone cheered and waved at him, well, everyone but Ken and Marybeth, Marybeth just looked forward and Ken watched Jack with a smirk.

"You're all going to die," Jack said as he shook his head.


End file.
